4 AM Cuddles
by idorkish
Summary: You're tired of continuing on in your current affair and must make a hard decision. Do you stay or do you leave?
1. Chapter 1

The tower had never felt so empty and lonely. Most of the team were out on their own missions. The only ones left were you, Tony, Wanda, and Vision. The latter two were probably out on a date again. Getting up from your bed, you walked over to the window, staring out at the glittering city before you. It had been a hard night. No matter how could you made your room, sweat stuck to your skin, forcing your hair down and sticking to your face. With a sigh, you stared back at your bed. The sheets were crumpled at the edge, half of them on the floor. The pillows were nowhere in sight – probably under the bed by now. It looked too large for you. How had your safe place come to feel like a prison?

Pushing your back against the cool window, you slumped down to the floor. The cold glass felt good against your skin. You weren't sure how long you stayed like that before your eyelids became heavy.

 **Knock. Knock.**

Your eyes strained to open and you were still on the floor. "Come in," your croaked out. Your throat felt dry as your tried to swallow down the small amount of saliva in your mouth. A figure stood in the doorway to your room. The light from the hall cascaded across the floor, causing your arm to shoot up to cover your eyes as you hissed. "What are you doing on the floor?" the figure called out softly, slowly taking a few steps forward.

"I couldn't sleep Tony. What do you want?"

Tony had a habit of checking on you in the middle of the night. His insomnia always got the better of him and he sought refuge in your room. Over the past few months, the two of you had become close. The friendship took many turns for you both. IT wasn't long before you were sneaking around behind the team's back. No one knew. They couldn't. Tony was still with Pepper after all. And you? Well you were still considered the newbie. You didn't feel you had a real place yet.

"C'mon kid. To the bed. We'll… cuddle." Tony held out his hand to you, that damn smirk on his face that you knew all too well. "You come to my room, at 4am, to cuddle?" you scoffed, ignoring his hand as you made your way back to your feet. How long could this keep going on? Yes, the sex was great. Yes, you enjoyed every moment you shared with this man. But it was hard to go on pretending that it all meant nothing. "Why are you really here Tony?" Your voice was small and unsure.

Tony shuffled and gave a small shrug. "FRIDAY informed me about your trouble sleeping. Figured I would off some…assistance," his voice drifting.

"Seriously? Is that all I'm good for with you? What are we even doing Tony? You have Pepper!" What were you doing and how did you ever let it get this far? Tony had always been charming. When you started working with the Avengers, the two of you would constantly flirt. It was harmless. You flirted with everyone on the team. Everything was moving along smoothly and you were finding your place on the team. Everything was normal until a particularly hard mission. It was supposed to be easy – gather intel.

Nothing is ever easy. You had infiltrated the base but found a small child in one of the labs. You went against your orders and turned this into a rescues mission. You had barely made it out with the child in your arms. Tony had to drag you both into the quinjet, but you had done it. You got the intel and the child was safe. Once back, the whole team laid into you about your decision. No matter how many times your tried to explain yourself, it seemed no one was happy. You saved a child – they only saw disobedience. Tony was the only one to back you up, and for that you were grateful.

After the debriefing, Tony helped you back to your room and out of your armor. Tony stayed with you until you were done showering and redressed. Tucking you under your sheets, he promised to throw a party to take your mind off the latest mission and to get everyone in a better mood. You awoke late the next day. Everything was still normal. The team was gathered in the common area, paper balls and jokes being thrown around while everyone laughed.

The party was like every other party. Loud. Crowded. Full of drunks hoping to get famous by rubbing against Tony. You hated it but it kept your mind from wandering too much. You had given in and had fun; drinking, mingling, even dancing with some of your teammates. You had caught the eye of a handsome man and found yourself in his arms while on the dance floor. You could feel glared being directed at you from behind.

Tony had been watching this guy put his hands all over you, even trying to slip under your dress. He had Pepper, who couldn't be at the party. So why did seeing you with this guy make him seethe with anger? He felt his chest tighten the longer he watched. That night had ended with Tony grabbing your hand and dragging you away to his lab. Clothes were scattered across the floor as he had you bent over one of his work benches. The first time together had been rough as he plunged into you, his fingers gripping hard at your hips. The next couple times that night had been just as rough, Tony having his way with you. Your body was tender the next morning, your back and neck littered with scratches and bruises. Your head felt light and the migraine was one of the worst to date.

When Natasha and Wanda saw you later in the day, they giggled and congratulated you. It was best to let them believe you had hooked up with the other guy from the party. Neither you or Tony every expected anything to come from that night. No one ever expects repeating mistakes. Over. And Over. And over again. For almost a year.

Tony stayed standing in the same spot, his hand was ruffling his hair as he gave you a shrug. "what do you want me to say? I thought you were OK with this arrangement. This is what you asked for anyway, remember? You were the one not wanting attachment, telling me this was just sex."

You couldn't help but shoot him a glare. How dare he place the blame solely on you! Throwing your hands in the air, you walked over to your closet and grabbed your emergency duffel bag. When you joined the team, you soon realized it was best to keep a bag with at least a week's worth of clothes and supplies, just in case you had a last minute mission or any other emergency. "I can't do this anymore Tony! I can't keep hiding. I feel wrong keeping secrets from everybody!" You grabbed a pair of jeans and slipped them on. Tony took a step toward you and froze, "What are you doing?"

You grabbed your favorite pair of boots and shoved your feet in, not bothering to even lace them up. You refused to answer his question. You didn't even know what you were doing. All you knew was that you had to get away, as much as you could from this place.

"Hey! I asked you a question! Now, answer me!" Tony was fuming, his face red. Even in the low light, you could make out the features of his face. You craved to reach out and touch him, to smooth away the furrow in his brows, the clenched jaw. But you knew that it would be your undoing and if you reached out now, you would be sucked back in. Instead, you stayed silent and continued dressing and gathering your things.

Sliding past him, you reached under your bed and pulled out another bag. You refused to go anywhere without your weapons bag. Tony hadn't moved from the spot, his eyes never leaving you. Moving around him once again, you grabbed your laptop and other small electronics, tossing them in the bag with your weapons. Tony finally moved to block the door to your room. You gripped both bags tight, your jaw clenching hard. "Move Tony."

"No, not until you answer me!"

"I. Said. Move!" you glared at the man in front of you, refusing to answer him anymore. Finally relenting, Tony stepped aside. Unsure if he would block you again, you quickly pushed past and walked toward the elevator. This was both of you, it was for the best.

"So this is it? Just going to leave?" His voice was small. You swore you heard a crack as he spoke. "It's for the best Tony. We couldn't keep this up forever."

You rushed inside the elevator as the doors opened. Tony reached his hand in as the doors were beginning to close. "Please. Don't!" There was a lump forming in your throat but you knew you had to be strong. You let out a breath and shook your head. "Please. If You walk out that door, out this place," he paused and took a deep breath, "If you walk out that door, don't even think about coming back." Tony kept his eyes locked to yours, pleading for you to reconsider and to stay.

Biting your lip, you shook your head again. Reaching forward you pressed the close door button. "I'm tired of being your dirty little secret. Goodbye Tony."

The elevator finally closed and began its descent to the garage. You would get out the city for a while. You sat in your car, trying to compose yourself and figure out where you would go. A buzzing from your bag pulled you out of your thoughts.

 ***Tasha: Almost home! Can't wait to spill! Movies and cuddles?***

Tossing the phone back into the bag, you sped out of the garage and joined the New York traffic. You would go stay with old friends. You whispered a promise of calling Natasha and Wanda when you reached your destination. "Goodbye Avengers" you whispered to the night air. It was time to start over again. After some time driving, your grabbed your phone and punched in a number you had long since memorized. After a few rings, someone finally answered, "Hey, long time no hear!" You smiled at the familiar voice, "Hey, sorry. I'm on my way toward ya. Can I come crash for a couple of days?"

You could hear shuffling in the background and the creak of a bed. You felt bad calling this late, but you hadn't thought your departure all the way through. "Of course you can, this is always your home. I'll see you when you arrive and you can tell me everything."

You smiled and let out a small sigh. "Thank you Hank, I'll explain once there. I shouldn't be much longer." You were headed back to what you called home and back to your family.


	2. Chapter 2

It had been a week since your departure from the Avengers' Tower. You had told Natasha you were just going to visit some family for a while - which wasn't a complete lie. That night you left, you had called Hank, and as predicted, he had offered you space at the mansion. You knew seeing your old team would be good for you. There were many times over the past years that you almost went back to them, but you knew you couldn't. You hadn't wanted to use your powers anymore and no one in SHIELD knew, or at least they pretended not to know. Despite this, home was with the X-men and the students.

You knew you didn't have much time left before having to return to the Avengers, it was your job. The past week had been spent reconnecting with your friends. You spent time with Piotr - drawing and painting together and with students in his classes. Other moments were spent with the girls - Jean & Ororo- shopping and gossiping. You also helped around with chores and classes, as needed. Charles insisted you use the time to rest but you loved helping with the children and they seemed to like you back. Most nights you spent in the lab with Hank. It was the most comforting place for you and you felt as if you had never left this space. Despite being close to other X-Men, everyone knew you and Hank were each other's favorites. The past week had been filled with nothing but joy and happiness. A few people questioned your real motives for returning but you dismissed them immediately. Charles and Jean were sure to know your real reasons but both kept their old promises of never invading your mind to poke around. Jean knew that with time, you would open up and tell what happened. Otherwise, she was glad to have one of her best friends back.

You had at least another full week left before you would be forced to return. Knowing you would have to leave your family and friends again was hard and began to weigh on you. Late Saturday, you found your way to the roof of the mansion, your feet hanging over the sides. When younger and still a student here, you would often find yourself up on the roof to get away from everyone. The quiet that came from begin alone have you time to think. You had taken off and immediately threw yourself into keeping yourself busy that you never once have yourself the time to think of what had happened and your next steps. Would you actually go back to the Avengers? You'd be forced to work with Tony and pretend that you never had an issue with him. You knew that if you went back, Natasha would figure everything out. The team wouldn't be the same. You could go back to being a normal agent, perhaps change office locations. But you loved being out in the field, fighting with the team was something you couldn't go back from.

Your other choice was to leave and stay at the Mansion. Charles would be more than willing to let you stay. You could work with the students in class or you could help Charles with admin things. Heck, you were sure Hank would be willing to make you his assistant if it meant you staying. The thought that disturbed you the most was that of running away from both and never returning. You knew you could leave in the middle of the night and they'd have a hard time finding you. Even with cerebro, it would take Charles time to find you and you'd be gone by the time they got there. "Bad day?" A voice called out making you scream and jump. You flailed about as you fell from the ledge back into the roof. The voice started laughing. "You ass," you sighed when you realized the voice belonged to your blue ball of fuzz. "Damnit Fuzz, why do you enjoy sneaking up on me?" "Why do you insist on calling me Fuzz?"

"I asked first, Hank."

Hank walked toward you and helped you to your get before pulling you close and placing his hands on your waist. "Because, my dear, it is far too amusing and adorable to see you so lost in thought that you don't realize the amount of noise I do make to get your attention, yet you still get scared. So again, bad day?" Resting your forehead on his chest, all you could do was sigh and shrug. "Come on Y/n. You have to give me more than that." You pulled away from your best friend and ran your hands down your face. "Just a lot to think about. I've made some bad choices lately and I'm not sure what to do anymore." Hank stepped toward you and wrapped his arms around your shoulders, pulling you back towards him. Instinctively your arms wrapped around his waist and you snuggled against him. He looked down at the woman in his arms and sighed as he rubbed your back. "I got an idea. What about an ice cream and movie night? Like we used to do. I'll grab the ice cream and spoons, you pick the corniest movie you can find, then you can vent to your dear ol' Fuzz." You let out a smile and nodded your head against his chest. "That sounds perfect. Meet in your room?"

"Meet you there in 20 ok?"

-Back at the Tower-

Natasha flopped down on the couch next to Clint and sighed. It had been a week since she had last saw her best friend and despite the messages that Y/n was ok, Natasha couldn't help but worry. "Ya know, if Y/n says she's ok, then you know she's ok right?" Clint's voice broke Natasha out of her thoughts and she nodded slowly. "I know, but it doesn't feel right. She's never talked about her family to me and we talk about everything. She would have told me something before taking off in the middle of the night while we're all away. Do you think she's in some sort of trouble?" It was not often that Natasha would show her worry. It was even rarer for Natasha to visibly be anxious. Clint sighed and grabbed her legs, pulling them onto his lap and massaging her calves slowly. "Tasha, calm down. Y/n is ok. She has another week before she's back here. And we'll probably see her at the party this week." Throwing her head back against the sofa's cushions, she let out a groan. "I forgot about that party! And we'll be having 'important people', as Stark refers to them, there as well." Clint let out a laugh and pushed her legs off his lap. "It'll be fine. I got to go, training and all."

Natasha half-heartedly waved at Clint. Pulling her phone, she shot off some quick messages.

 _ **Tasha: y/n! See you at the party right?! Miss you babe! :***_

 _ **y/n: Tasha! 3 3 Fingers crossed! Miss ya right back my baby spider!**_

 _ **Tasha: Even if you aren't here, help me pick out something, k? Skype? Pics? HELP! 3**_

 _ **y/n: Send me pics and I'll help. I'm 90% sure I'll make it to the party. Pinky promise!**_

 _ **Tasha: Ugg, you're killing me! I'm taking Wanda shopping tomorrow, we'll send plenty of pics so be near your phone! OR ELSE**_

 _ **Y/n: lol I promise! I gotta get going. Need to help with dinner. LOVE YOU MI AMOR!**_

Natasha sighed and tossed her phone on the coffee table. She normally wouldn't be this anxious but she knew something was off. Y/n would never keep things from her. Sighing, she shook her head. It would only be a few more days before the big party. She'd see Y/n there, for sure. Jumping to her feet, she made her way to the twins' apartment area, "WANDA! We need to start planning for saturday!"

After an hour of binging on ice cream and corny 80s movies, you had finally vented to Hank about everything that happened, although you decided not to mention names. You knew that Hank wasn't the biggest fan of Tony Stark, and you didn't want him to look at you differently. "So, you slept with a co-worker behind everyone's back and behind his partner's back? You know you're my best friend Y/N, and I won't judge you, but that was a mistake," Hank pointed his spoon at you before grabbing another spoonful of ice cream. "I know Fuzz! That's why I broke it off! I couldn't do it anymore and I didn't want it to be awkward, but then it became awkward! I really thought I was in love with him ya know? Then I realized I was just being used and I pulled away from him. But then he started getting all weird," pausing you shoveled a spoonful of ice cream into your mouth and sighed. "...and? Cmon, I've let you go the whole week without me asking anything. You were pretty anxious on the phone when you called. I'm worried about you Boo." You smiled and chuckled at the nickname. You had called him Fuzz from day one of being friends, it was a name only you could call him. It wasn't until you forced him to watch Monster's Inc that he started calling you Boo. Scooting closer, you rested your head on Hank's arm and sighed. "Hank, I was falling in love with a man who was already taken. I convinced myself that he would leave her because he obviously wasn't happy with her. I kept telling myself that it would all work out. It wasn't until he proposed to her that it all came crumbling down, but he still kept coming to me," you sniffled and wiped at your nose. Hank shook his head and pulled you to sit between his legs and his arms wrapped around you. There were no words he could say to make your heart heal and it was in moments like these that he felt helpless. "Boo...Y/n, despite what happened. Maybe it's for the best," he took a moment to think of his next words carefully, unsure as to how you would react, "What if you just came back here? With me..well with us. It wasn't that bad was it? I-I-we all miss you!"

You sat between his legs, your head resting on his chest. You had sat like this so many times over the time of your friendship and it had been the most safe spot you could ever find. You moved your hand to his arm and slowly stroked at the blue fur. "I've been thinking about that ya know. About staying. I was going to talk to Charles and see if I could just work at the school. I'm sure I could do the most good here. I wouldn't need to use my powers as much here…" your voice drifted. You closed your eyes and felt Hank shift behind you. He moved you both so you were now laying on the bed, you laid on him and nuzzled your cheek to his chest as his arms wrapped around your waist. "Y/n, we would all love you to come back home. Let's be honest, Charles would let you do nothing all day if it meant you came back. But it has to be because you want to be here and not because you're running from your problems. It didn't work well last time, it won't work well this time. You're my best friend, and you should know I love you more than anybody else. So when you're sure about what you want, I will support you."

You wiped at the tears threatening to spill and nodded at his words. You knew what you had to do. Before you could come back to your family, you had to face your team. You couldn't just abandon them. "Hank, there's a party at work coming up. WIll you go with me? Pretty please? With cherries and sprinkles on top?" Hank gave a toothy grin and nodded, "Of course I will. We'll make everyone jealous. I mean, cmon, Just look at me!" You looked up at his smirking face and both of your started laughing. "Let's get some sleep, we'll talk more in the morning," Hank pressed a lingering kiss to your forehead and pulled you tightly against him. Giving him a nod, you relax in his arms. This was how you often found yourself falling asleep after missions. Being in his arms again was comforting, it was safe and felt like home. "I love you Fuzz."

"I love you too my little Boo."


End file.
